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I’m itchy and I’m losing hair
It burns when I pee
My joints all feel so broken
Like someone curb-stomped my knees
And they’re upping up the dosage
Flick the needle and inject
My eyes are glazing over
The list of side-effects
I’m losing all my vision
And the money on my card
They want me in an ambulance
But i’ll just drive my car
Cause insurance doesn’t cover that
It barely covers this
I’m on 20 medications
Cause I don’t want to risk
Dying Early
Dying Early
Dying Early
Dying Early
I picked out my own casket
And my funeral attire
A big old wooden basket
Where I will soon retire
And I’m thinking about cremation
But I can’t handle heat
Makeup and a tracksuit
And some Timbs on my feet
I’m Dying Early
Dying Early
Dying Early
Dying Early
Well I didn’t go to medical school
Cause it's just a fancy building with a ton of rooms
And a ton of books with really long words
And I’d tell you all about it but I’d get so fucking bored
That I wanna punch every dude with a degree
Just cause I know they’re smarter than me
And I don’t take the time to look it up online
Cause it’s gonna say that I’m running out of time
Cause a scratch on my knee looks like cancer to them
Don’t ever ask the internet or I’ll be condemned
I got a girlfriend, but you don’t know her
I got a girlfriend, but she goes to a different school
I got a girlfriend, and no you can’t hold her
I got a girl, and she’s my world, I love my girl
I got a girlfriend, but she lives in another state
I got a girlfriend, and we go on lots of dates
We go to Target, and Lucy’s, and Cain’s Ballroom
I got a girl, and she’s my world, I love my girl
My girl steals T-shirts right from off my back
My girl’s got her eyeliner and her nails are painted black
My girl’s got everything you could want
But she’s mine buddy, you better take a walk
I got a girlfriend, and she’s a lesbian
She says that I’m the only man that ever can
I’m kinda girly and she digs that she’ll help do my hair
She’ll paint my nails, and I’ll paint hers, I love my girl
I can’t work at a museum, cause I’ll touch the paintings and
I couldn’t work for UPS, cause I’ll read your mail and
I can’t be a fancy chef, cause I’ll eat your food and
Don’t ask me about success, cause I haven’t seen none
I’m a radio that’s only got one station
I’m a ratio that doesn’t belong in this equation
Oh don’t you know, it’s all about persuasion
And I’m persuading you, to take me back home
I couldn’t ever be a nurse, cause I’m way too squeamish and
I couldn’t ever be a coach, cause I’m not a leader
I’m not a super famous athlete man, I’m always last place and
Never gonna be an army man for the United States
I’m a radio that’s only got one station
I’m a ratio that doesn’t belong in this equation
Oh don’t you know, it’s all about persuasion
And I’m persuading you, to take me back home
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure, oh no
I got a cowlick on the side of my head
Cause I was sleeping on the wrong side of bed
I think everyone wishes me dead but I’m not, oh no
I got a spider-vein on the middle of my face
I’m like a cloud of rain on your sunny day off
Why don’t you brush it away and just go play inside
I’m sad but I’m not dumb
And I’m waiting for my time to come
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure, oh no
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure, oh no
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure
Everything makes me insecure, oh no, oh no
Eight ‘o’ clock, clock in, I’m here for the day
And I spend a couple hours on my ten minute break
And I hotbox in the freezer, turn it into a lake
And I’ll do a couple bumps just to stay awake
I’m gettin’ paid
Get paid today
For two weeks work, work, work, work
I’m gettin’ paid
Oh yeah, there’s Debra
She makes the schedule
Oh tell me what to do and for you
Babe you know I’ll get it done
And then there’s Honey
She counts the money
Oh I take half and she takes half
And we both go home very happy
I’m gettin’ paid
Get paid today
For two weeks work, work, work, work
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
Get paid today
For two weeks work, work, work, work
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’m gettin’ paid
I’ve got the yellowest teeth out of all my friends
I don’t know what to believe, so I just pretend
I try to look real deep, but I look dumb instead
I don’t know what I’ll achieve by just sitting in bed
But I’m tired, and I need this sleep
My brain is burning out, I’ve had a real long week
I need some rest, and I need some weed
I wanna sit here and watch T.V.
And lay there smiling all alone
How long is too long?
How long is too long?
How long is too long?
I got yellow teeth, that’s the name of the song
I’m never too late, but I’m never on time
I spend half my day at work, and the rest online
Because there’s nothing else to do to help pass the time
But then I’m on it too long and it hurts my eyes
I’m by myself, I’ve had a real long day
I wanna sit here and just press play
I’ve got my Hulu, and my DVDs
There’s nothing else here I could ever need
Except some popcorn and some beer
How long is too long?
How long is too long?
How long is too long?
I got yellow teeth, that’s the name of the song
Pool party, my place, eight ‘o’ clock tonigh
tWe got Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and some Busch Light
We’ll have joints and burgers grilling, Dr. Pepper and some Sprite
Sexy ladies wearing shorts and hot dudes wearing tights
I said my parents out of town, so we gotta do this right
This is gonna be the greatest fucking party of my life
I never learned how to backflip, but I’ll learn how to tonight
So I can jump into the pool from my roof from ten feet high
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
I said I got some brand new trunks and I wanna show them off
I said I got SPF 50 and a brand new beach ball
I got cases of cold beer and a freshly cleaned bong
Everybody hears about it and they all wanna come along
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
The cops come in, try to shut us down
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
We’ll shove them in, and they will drown
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Oooh, pool party at my place
Go suck a dick
Fujimoto, Fujimoto, I don’t wanna be a fish
Can’t the evil wizard grant me this wish
I wanna be a real girl with real hair
I want hands and feet, I don’t want scales
Sorry for leaving my sisters back home
Cause we all came from the same seafoam
Got me out the bottle, gotta thank you for that
I know when you found me I must’ve been a brat
Running round the sea, tryna find the green pail
Remember where I found it up on the big hill
I miss my best friend that lives on top
And I hope his daddy comes back from the dock
All I really know is I just wanna stick with you
Your house is really warm, your mom makes good food
Sorry for scaring you with those waves
I just want you to come out and play
I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be
I always keep some money in my pocket
20 orange bills filling up my wallet
For when my friends wanna play monopoly
I don’t know the rules well, I don’t pay attention
I always pick the race car, there is no exception
Danny got the battleship, and Aaron’s kinda sad he got the boot
What can you do
Oh what can you do
What can you do
What can you do
Playing Seinfeld clue, somebody killed Newman
Wager on Jerry, he’s the type to do it
Hit him on the head with a label maker in his apartment
Playing blackjack on GTA 5 online
I wish all my virtual money was the real kind
Cause then I’d easily be the richest man in the whole world
But what can you do
Oh what can you do
What can you do
What can you do
What can you do
What can you do
What can you do
What can you do
What can you do?
I wanna check off another check
On my to-do list
Today is a mighty fine day
To do it
Because I’m doing the laundry, and doing the dishes
I’m folding my clothes so please don’t start bitchin’
Gonna check off another check on my to-do list, yeah
Well I wake up in the morning time
To get stuff done
Now I gotta go work my job
No time for fun
Because I hate this fucking place
But I gotta pay the bills
And someday I know i’ll be in Beverly Hills
But I’m crossing off another box, one by one, yeah
Everything I’ve been putting off
I’ve been waiting for far too long
Everything I’ve been putting off
I’ve been waiting for far too long
Everything I’ve been putting off
I’ve been waiting for far too long
Everything I’ve been putting off
I’ve been waiting for far too long
I’m colorblind, and I got IBS
And my hair is turning grey
From anxiety and stress
And it’s greasy too, cause I’m out of shampoo
I’ve been using all my bar soap
But it can’t seem to cut through
It's got me flaky, wherever I may go
I leave a trail of snow
And I smell like tobacco
So let me lay here
Sitting in the bathroom
Staring in the mirror
Like I’m on some acid
If you don’t mind
Wasting my time
I never shave my mustache
It's still just barely there
I think that it’s unfair, that my lips can’t grow no hair
But I save on razors, don’t need no shaving cream
To keep my face all clean, don’t need no skin routine
Though I’ve got pimples, and zits all on my face
Proactiv makes you wait but I can’t wait another day
I’m sick of it
I’m sick of this
So I’ll cut my hair
At the end of the day
I don’t really care
I just wanna look a different way
I just wanna look a different way (hey, hey, hey)
I just wanna look a different way (hey, hey, hey)
I just wanna look a different way (hey, hey, hey)
I just wanna look a different way